Sunrise, Sunset
by blacksyryn
Summary: She was my Sunrise...She was your Sunset...and now we have neither to light our worlds. Author's Note: I changed the title because I thought this was better.
1. Sunrise

**Sunrise**

She was the only thing we really agreed on.

No matter how much we argued, how much we hated each other, she was the only thing that kept us together. We probably would've killed each other long ago if it weren't for her to stop us. She connected us in a way that was stronger than animosity or rivalry.

From the beginning it was the three of us—and Sensei, of course. But, if we were _really _honest, it was the three of us. A dead last, a genius, and an average girl. I always thought that it was kind of unfair. Our sensei gave us the harsher training routines and ignored her. We were so caught up in our game that we ignored her, too.

She was always just there. No matter how much I chased after you—trying to catch up to you—she was there. At first it was only to tell me that I'd never succeed. How could I possibly catch up to you, Mr. Freakin' Perfect? Later she was there as an unofficial referee for our fights. I'll be the first to admit that she was as biased a referee as they came. But if anything ever threatened either of us, she'd blast that clueless son of a bitch to kingdom come.

After you left to join that snake bastard, she changed. How could she not? Every single one of the genin involved were changed because of your stupid, selfish, _moronic _decision. We all had to grow up in that three-day span of time. True, as ninja we had to grow up fast to begin with. But nothing will slap you down into the jaded world of adulthood faster than the betrayal of your best friend.

But that's enough of that. I started this to talk about her, not you—we've spent too much time talking about you as it is.

What I meant about her changing…it was for the best. It really was. It gave her a determination and a purpose that I'd never seen in her before. She was willing to do anything it took to get you back. That fueled my determination as well. We helped each other through that time when you were gone from our lives. Even though you were replaced on the team, we never were whole while you were gone.

It was as if part of our souls were missing.

It was the three of us. It always had been. And now you were gone.

For me, I'd lost a brother. Someone I could pound on and argue with; someone who'd goad me into working harder so that I could beat you. For her, she'd lost a lover. Someone she would die for; someone she'd give up all ties and betray all loyalties to be with.

While you were on your hiatus—so to speak—we became close. When she finally decided to move out of her parents' house, I was the one she moved in with. We weren't involved romantically. She was still in love with you and I was still too clueless about the opposite sex to do more than sneak peaks at her when she left the shower every morning.

Instead, we respected each other. We joked and laughed and _lived. _She smiled for me in a way that she never could with you—freely, without fear of rejection or pain. Every morning over the breakfast table, as she pushed a plate of something other than ramen at me, she'd smile for me. It was a beautiful, soft smile. One that someone who was happy and content would make.

Yes, she loved you first.

But I've gotta tell you…she loved me best.

When we brought you back home, that smile disappeared for everyone except me. She was stressed out and nervous. The goal she'd worked for was accomplished. You were here, but at the same time not. You'd changed as we'd changed. She felt lost and a bit confused. You were no longer the childhood love she remembered.

It didn't help that we were assigned to watch you day and night for two months. Or maybe it did.

Slowly we began arguing. It was like the arguments we had when we were younger and at the same time nothing like them. It took me a while to finally understand why.

She was arguing with us too.

Granted, when she was younger she'd argue with me, but that was more of an older sister smacking her little brother around. Now she was giving you pretty much the same treatment. I can still remember the look on your face when she smacked the side of your head for the first time and told you to stop being arrogant.

She had fists like bricks, didn't she?

Even after your house arrest was finished, we lived together. Life was good then. Every morning, you and I fought. She'd come in and tell us both to grow up. Then she'd make us the breakfast that neither one of us would've made if we'd been alone. She was as strong a kunoichi as they came, but she was traditional in the strangest ways.

Eating breakfast together at the table every morning was one of her rules.

It was one of those rules that killed her. She hated seeing anyone in pain. If we were on a mission, she'd heal any traveler we came across with a splinter in his hand.

She was a great ninja, but an even greater doctor. I was just as surprised and impressed as you when she got her medical license. It was one of the few secrets she kept from us.

I know that what the others say is true. "It's an honor to die in combat…She died protecting those she loved." Blah, blah, blah. I only hope that everyone says such nice things about me when it's my turn. But those are only empty words.

I'd rather have her back and in my arms again.

Sometimes I just wish she hadn't been so dedicated. That she didn't have as much honor as you and as much determination as I do. I wish that she hadn't been as gifted as she obviously was.

I even wish that she hadn't been a ninja either.

Cuz, if all that had been true, then she'd still be alive. She'd be with us—with me.

I can feel the gazes of the other people in the room. They're looking at the two of us with sympathy and sadness. Right now I just want to lay my head on this table—right between the cold mugs holding our beer and the huge bottle of sake our old sensei gave us—and cry.

But we're shinobi…we can't do that.

I want to leave.

I want to go back to our house, where the three of us lived so happily for the past five years, and crawl into her bed and sniff her smell on the mint green sheets.

Oh, Kami, I miss her so much it hurts.

Sasuke, what will we do now?


	2. Sunset

**Sunset**

I knew, deep in my heart, that she was strong. She had to be to keep up with us the way she did. On missions, while you were recklessly jumping into things and I was so determined to show everyone how bad ass I was, she was the one who followed orders perfectly. _She _was the perfect ninja. Not you or me—_her._ She had the perfect balance of compassion and cold-blooded calculation. She had the power to slit a man's throat with a kunai and then perform surgery with the very same blade.

Remember our first big mission?

The one where I "died" for the first time? I never noticed how many times I've "died" in my twelve-year career as a ninja. There was that mission, then again in the Forest of Death, and _again _when I left Konoha…but I digress. I'm talking about her, not me.

As you said, we do that enough.

It took guts to stay with that old man as everyone else battled around her. I can't imagine what she must have felt standing in that mist—not knowing if we were alive or dead, not knowing if she was alone. Or maybe I _can _imagine what that felt like. If it was anything like how I felt standing in front of the closed door my parents were behind as my brother murdered them, then she had nerves of steel to go through that again and again.

Kuso, we put her through so much…

But even though she never flinched when it came to staring an assassin in the eye to protect our charge, we had that one rule. That one unspoken rule that made her feel as if she were inferior to us. When, in reality, she was our equal.

Never let her get hurt. Never put her in danger. Always protect her.

That was our rule. And we stuck by it until the very end. In the end, she wouldn't let us protect her any longer. She was a shinobi of Konoha and a doctor. She would gladly lay down her life for those she healed. She was strong now—as strong as she always was on the inside. She was stubborn beyond all belief on that last mission.

I fully blame _you_ for that.

Over the years—both before and after I left—we influenced each other. Whether it was me forcing you two to grow up a bit, you forcing us to laugh a little louder, or her forcing us to slow down and relax, we influenced each other's personalities as we grew. How we thought, how we acted, how we _were,_ all of that was determined by the other two

I know she told you about the night I left Konoha. You two were so close, how could she not? She vowed to follow me, you know. That's why I knocked her out. To keep her from doing such a stupid thing. I knew that the path I chose would kill her. I couldn't let her do that. I couldn't break our rule and hurt her that way.

Even though it meant everything to me that she threatened to follow me.

Kami, the feeling I got when I saw you two in that dank lair three years later when we were fifteen. You'd grown, the both of you, and in more ways than the physical. You'd finally grown taller and gotten rid of that ugly orange jumpsuit. Granted, orange is still your favorite color, but your clothes now are easier on the eyes.

We have her to thank for that too, don't we?

At first, it was like the old times. All I could focus on was you. The way your blue eyes flashed fire at me like that time in the Valley of the End. I'd almost dismissed her. But that flash of pink appeared in the corner of my eye and I felt a strong flare of chakra. I remember being surprised when I saw that it came from her.

She looked different. More…serious…I think is the word I'm looking for. There was a steadiness in her gaze that wasn't there when she was a giggling twelve-year-old. Her body was more toned than I remembered, but her skin was still as pale as ever.

Didn't you ever notice that no matter how long she stayed outside her skin never became darker than the last snow of winter?

She was such a puzzle to me. She was caring and soft, hardly the type I would choose as a kunoichi let alone my teammate. But then again, there was that strength I was talking about. I preferred her when she was brash like you than when she was fawning over me like a puppy. I recognized that her bubbly/sweet behavior wasn't the real her. It never felt _genuine _to me when she acted like that.

I wish I could have seen her fight in the Chuunin exams—both of them. From what you've told me, it must've been an impressive sight.

When you both dragged me back to Konoha, we were already 16. I'd barely managed to avoid the price I was supposed to pay for the power I'd received and you two found me as I was searching for my brother. The fight we had then was tremendous. I'd expected an explosive response from you—hell, I'd _reveled _in the fact that we'd trade fists again.

I just didn't expect her to join in the fight as well. That's the only reason I lost. I just never thought that she'd fight to get me back. I still have the scars she put on me that day. Just like you carry those scars. Just like _she _carried those scars.

I won't lie to you. I hated you both for dragging me back. I hated her for growing strong enough to help take me down. I hated _you_ for living with her while I was gone. When I saw your home—after I was sentenced to house arrest—it was obvious that she lived there too. It was obvious that you were close. The little looks and touches you exchanged, the smiles, the inside jokes that I could never understand—it was so glaringly obvious.

She loved you. You loved her. You loved each other…

And it made me so jealous. She was mine first. She loved _me_ first.

It didn't occur to me that she loved us both equally. At least not until she smacked me upside the head and yelled at me the way she did with you. By the way, she didn't call me arrogant. She called me a "pretentious bastard." You're right though…

Her fists _were _like bricks.

Just like she'd smile for you every morning, she'd laugh for me every night. I'm sure that you were aware of our nightly ritual. She and I would sit on our roof each evening before dinner and share a pot of tea. Sometimes we'd talk and sometimes we'd remain silent. We were comfortable with each other in a way that we weren't as children. She brought out a side of me I'd long forgotten. It was a playful side that enjoyed trying to catch fireflies and told lame jokes.

I bet you didn't know that about 90 percent of those "Knock-knock" jokes she constantly told everyone came from yours truly.

Soon it was the three of us again. We were a unit, a set. The only times we were separated was whenever we'd train with our separate ANBU squads and during missions. I can't believe that she made Captain before either of us. But out of the three of us, she _was _the one who remained in Konoha the longest. Of course the elders would promote her before the traitor or the monster.

At least, that's what you always say. For some reason, you've always had a better understanding and acceptance of shinobi politics than me. Others might think that it's the other way around, but I can't bother with those small facts. You two practically _thrived _on those little details—or gossip as she called it.

It still amuses me the way the other ninja would scatter or start taking bets whenever the three of us came to spar on the training grounds. There were always even odds that any one of us would win the mock battle. Most times, it would end in a draw. Unless you two decided to gang up on me or some other variation thereof.

The after training meal always tasted better for some reason whenever she was involved.

She was our light…she really was.

I know you miss her. I do too.

I can already feel our friendship straining with the loss of her presence. We're fighting more often and I'm getting more and more withdrawn. I can feel your hurt at my actions like a senbon in my hand. I can't stop thinking about the promise the two of you made with me. I can't look at you in the eyes right now so I'll just swirl the beer in my mug mindlessly.

You promised to help me fulfill my dreams and you have. My brother is dead and I can finally put that part of my life to rest.

But I never thought that the cost of my dreams would be her life.

It was my fault.

Again, it's my fault that someone precious to me is dead.

I know what you're going to say. I know that it's stupid to take the blame for her death. She was her own person. And didn't I just say that she was stubborn beyond all belief?

Yeah…so I did.

It doesn't change the way I feel though.

Why aren't you mad at me?

I killed our best friend. It's _my _fault that the name of the best thing that ever happened to either of us is now carved on the Memorial Stone. Instead of yelling at me, you're silent. Instead of punching me in the face like I deserve, you're grabbing onto my shoulder and holding on to it so tightly I already feel a bruise forming.

Of the three of us, you two were always the more emotional.

So why did I stay silent with you as we carved her name into that damned blue stone? Why did I grab onto your shoulder and hold on as tightly to it as you did mine?

Why do I want to lay my head down on this old, worn, bar table and cry?

Kuso, I miss her so much it hurts.

Naruto…what the _hell _are we going to do now?


End file.
